Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Schizo, much?

This one isn't dated, but I'm guessing it was after I was on medication because... yeah. Also worth noting that my handwriting got more frantic and illegible as the poem went on.
Anyway, sometime after May 2008, but probably before 8th grade ended.

What happened to me?
Where did I go?
How am I so lost
When I've just been found?

I want my misery!
I want my blood!
I don't want this foreign happiness!
What happened to tears?
What happened to anger?
What happened to real emotions?

I want my dark gloomy mood
I want the constant hope to die
I want my old life!
Where did I go?
Why have I left
And let my old me take my place?
I said I missed her
Not that I wanted her
To be in control

What happened to my life?
I deserve to live too!
I deserve the life I hoped for!

This body's only big enough for one
And I'm the persistent one
I will win.
She will be sorry.
Sometime in 7th grade

One day we'll escape this hell
I promise you
This won't last long
Who would've seen it coming
We can break free of
These chains that confine us.
They can't keep us
Here for long

Death Awaits Us

Sometime in 7th grade

Lost minds in dire need
I don't want your sympathy
With bleeding thoughts, you break me down
What goes around will come around
Pitch black shadows mark every door
While vampires only crave for more
Lifeless bodies still and black
Without these pills I'll finally crack
Bleeding thoughts and hopeless minds
Tragic memories that keep you blind


Back to our regularly scheduled program of "I have no idea when I wrote this". But this was definitely sometime in 7th grade. So sometime before June of 2008.

Believe me when I tell you I'm here
I'll listen. I'm not like them at all.
I'm always by your side. I've got your back.
Don't doubt me.
If anything happened to you, Andi and I
Will be the next ones dead.
We will die together in one room
We will go and meet you in heaven.
Believe me, girl.
We're always here.



What's that
A cat
a lazy
cute little cat
just like that

I wish I were


I wish I were
a beautiful flower
Sitting in the sunny breeze
Or maybe I'd be a
firework show
Everyone would admire me.

I wish I were
the morning sun
All beautiful and pink.
Or maybe I'd be a
sparkling pen
that never runs out of ink.

I wish I were
a brown monkey
always having fun.
Or maybe I'd be a
pretty butterfly
flying towards the sun.

Whatever I wish I were
I know one thing for sure
I'd rather be anything more
Than plain old boring me.

It touched My Heart


It touched my heart
When I saw Mattie
The peacemaker
When I saw
That boy's words
It touched my heart
To see him smile
With all those problems
On his shoulders
I could hear
The machine working
Very hard to make him breathe
Hahoo Hahoo
Between sentences
It touched my heart
That he could still
Write such powerful
Marvelous words
Only at ten years
A fairytale
A "heartsong"