Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Except Me

24/6/12
__________________

She's got two parents who love her,
A brother to protect her,
Good grades and a laugh
That could brighten up a room.
Sure, she's not the smartest,
But she wants for nothing
She's got everybody wrapped around
Her little scarred finger
Except me

Cuz she's got my favourite old t-shirt
She's got my one true love's whole heart
And a fist full of cluttered
Memories I wish I'd forget
She's got the best of everything I left
And I'll resent her
'Til fucking death for it
Oh, she's got everything
She's ever wanted
Except me

I Wrote Eleven

13/6/12
______________________

Can you rub my back
And tell me things you don't believe
Whisper little things
Like "it'll be alright some day"?
Can you tell that my fatigue
Is not from lack of sleep?
I just need some motivation
Or just some time to figure out
Exactly what life means to me

Maybe I'll feel better when the sun comes up
Maybe I'll feel worse
Don't let that stop you from filling my fragile mind
With promises of impossible "better days"
Because you're the only thing I'm sure
I believe in

Fate Likes Me Okay

23/5/12
__________________

The way his brown eyes shine
When they look at me
Could it be a better feeling?
Like another shot at a memory
That just ended too soon
The way he drives with a cigarette
With that smile on his face
Radio in the background
Could it be a better day?

Cuz he's all that I've wanted
since I first saw him at fourteen
As he kissed my best friend
While I hid behind a magazine

And if this is fate, I'll take it
Nevermind four hearts breaking
I feel fine

Yeah, he stands on chairs
When he's feeling down
I know better than to ask
Cuz he argues to the death
And I can't stand it

Cuz he's all that I've wanted
For three goddamn years
And losing him again
Is the only thing I truly fear

And if this is fate, I'll take it
Nevermind four hearts breaking
He's all I adore
He's all I long for
And if I have him,
I'm fine
Nevernind the heartbreak
I feel fine

Letters

30/4/12
______________________

Dear body,

Thank you
For allowing me to
See, hear, taste,
Smell, and feel
Thanks for working quickly
To fight off infection and disease
Thank you for attracting men,
Allowing me to sing
Allowing me to dance
To cry and to smile

Body, I'm sorry
For causing you harm by
Cutting, burning, piercing
Drinking, and smoking
I'm sorry for not appreciating you
As much as I probably should
I'm sorry for letting men abuse you,
Allowing harmful food inside you,
Going days without moving,
Purging, and starving

Dear Brain,

Thank you
For allowing me to
Think and create
Thanks for working quickly
To think of witty comebacks
Or to tell me the argument isn't worth it
Thanks for regulating chemicals
Allowing me to learn
Allowing me to grow
To believe and to imagine

Brain, I'm sorry
For poisoning you with
Zoloft, Klonapin, Risperdal,
Caffeine, and nicotine
I'm sorry for hating
The strange unique thoughts you give me
I'm sorry messing with your chemicals
Trying to change you
Trying to erase you
To hide and ignore you

Dear Heart,

Thank you
For allowing me to love
Jack, Luke, Michelle,
Megan, and my father
Thank for working quickly
To make ties with the people I meet
Thank you for caring so much,
Never giving up,
Allowing me to love
Unprejudicedly and unconditionally

Heart, I'm sorry
For hurting you by
Hating, judging, resenting,
Doubting, and regretting
I'm sorry for forcing you
To give up before you're ready
I'm sorry for going back to those who hurt you
Allowing people to take advantage of you
To claim you aren't there
And for doing the same myself

Baby Powder And Cigarettes

20/3/12
_____________________

She liked the smell of innocence corrupted
Like baby powder and cigarettes
She just couldn't get enough
And when she whispered, she screamed
Loud enough for no one to hear

But she lived in a dream
Trapped by thick glass
And the movement of her hips
Was her free pass to everything
She ever wanted, everything
She ever needed, but
She was just a dream
A fable
A lost soul.

Friday, March 30, 2012

My Butterfly Project: Jack

Sweet, curious, little boy
Taller than the world
I remember when I held
The idea that was you
As a black pen in my hand
I wrote a song about the "maybe"s
You would face in life
I never thought that you'd come crashing
Down
Down
Down
So quickly
Before anyone would could stop to help
And now, I see, you're scarred for life
And so, you see, am I

_______________________________________

My Butterfly Project: Matthew (INCLUDES EXPLANATION) -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2011/10/my-butterfly-project.html

My Butterfly Project: Lolli -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2011/10/my-butterfly-project-ii.html

My Butterfly Project: Kodi -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2011/10/my-butterfly-project-iii.html

My Butterfly Project: Ayumi -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2011/10/my-butterfly-project-iv.html

My Butterfly Project: Luke -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2011/10/my-butterfly-project-v.html

My Butterfly Project: Discoveries -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2011/10/my-butterfly-project-vi.html

My Butterfly Project: Mike -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2011/10/my-butterfly-project-vii.html

My Butterfly Project: En -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2011/10/my-butterfly-project-viii.html

My Butterfly Project: Sal -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2011/10/my-butterfly-project-ix.html

My Butterfly Project: Grant -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2011/11/my-butterfly-project-x.html

My Butterfly Project: Lance -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-butterfly-project-xi.html

My Butterfly Project: Madeline -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-butterfly-project-xii.html

My Butterfly Project: Kevin --
http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-butterfly-project-xiii.html
My Butterfly Project: Anyone -- http://beauty--from--pain.blogspot.com/2012/03/my-butterfly-project-xiv.html

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Infinity

He walked away
His footsteps like rain
Scattered on the pavement
I stood my ground
And listened as the sound
Of him leaving
Made me see reason
And I never thought
I'd learn to love again
I guess you can tell that to
My broken heart
Bleeding in his hand

I never wanted to say goodbye
I always hoped that someday he'd change his mind

I will sit here waiting
Til my tears dry up off of the floor
I will lay here praying
That he would walk back through that door
And if I never see him again
Well, you can't exactly say we haven't been here before
I will sit here waiting

I couldn't cry
I was empty inside
Going through the motions
I couldn't breathe
I just let myself bleed
Out the sorrow
No hope for tomorrow
I always thought
I'd be the strong one
But I soon found no one's strong
When it comes down to
Losing and love

I never wanted to say goodbye
I always hoped that someday he'd change his mind

I will sit here waiting
Til my tears dry up off of the floor
I will lay here praying
That he would walk back through that door
And if I never see him again
Well, you can't exactly say we haven't been here before
I will sit here waiting

So, I'll move on
And I'll play strong
And I'll think of you
When the timing is wrong
I'll start to heal
I'll try not to feel
And I'll live in a world
That I wish wasn't real

I never wanted to say goodbye
I always hoped that someday he'd change his mind

I will sit here waiting
Til my tears dry up off of the floor
I will lay here praying
That he would walk back through that door
And if I never see him again
Well, you can't exactly say we haven't been here before
I will sit here waiting

I will sit here waiting
I will sit here waiting
I will sit here waiting
I will sit here waiting
Waiting