Saturday, April 8, 2017

This one will be hard to translate to a computer because it is sort of a concrete poem except that each word is its own picture. But. Anywho.
Written probably in about 8th grade.
___________________________

little                 S       F
                  R             L
                    E         O
                         W                              O
                                                 L                  O
                                          B                               M

                 ever so slightly


                         IN
             ThE                nOt

                       YET

        S
           P
             R
                I
                  N
                     G

Squiggle

I cannot even begin to tell you when this was written. Likely 8th grade ish, based on handwriting and writing style, but don't quote me on that.
______________________________

I'm so sick of playing games
Nothing is ever for sure anymore
I miss the schedules
The order
I miss knowing what would happen next
Why can't it be the same
Like it used to be?

xxxX

Written in 2008-2009 (based on its order in the X series)
_________________________

Looking back on faded memories
Time ticking back in my head
What happened to the little girl
Crying in the night
Pouring her soul out on a
Silly piece of notebook paper?

I miss her
She was so friendly
She cared
She tried hard in school
She loved through the pain

How could they have let
Such a beautiful little girl
Die? Just die, and let a monster
Take her place.

She deserves to be here now.
I don't. I don't deserve to live
That little girl should've been able
To live her life.
To grow up and go to college
Like her dream.
To meet her prince charming
To live happily ever after.

Where'd she go?
Why'd she leave when
The world needs her the most?
Probably written in 7th grade, based on the overuse of exclamation points and the fact that the writing style is seriously laughable.
________________________

Burning down this fairy tale ending
Happily ever after we'll run
Far away from everything we've ever wanted.
Believe me, this is not what you wanted.
Believe me, this is not how it was supposed to be.
Tell me we can escape this!
Tell me this will end!
When can we escape this misery?
Tell me it will be okay!
Don't lie to me!
This is the last straw!
I can't take this anymore!
Stop this! Now!

A Change in Subject

Written in 7th grade (2007-2008)

(This was literally only written because the boy I had a crush on told me that he wanted to read something that I wrote that wasn't about death.)
_____________________________

Dew drops
Lightly sprinkle
The crimson red
Petals.
A single rose
Perched all alone
With no one to
Help it stand.

Why is everyone so
Sad all the time
Stop the awkward silence
And live your fucking life

The smell of rain
Still lingers strongly
In the air
The damp air.
The familiar colors
Blend together in a
Perfect arch, in
Perfect harmony.

Why is everyone so
Sad all the time
Fuck the awkward silences
Start living your life again
Why can't the world be a
Happier place more often
Stop the awkward silence
And live your life.

Finally Repenting

Written in 7th grade (based on the fact that it said "by: Subtle Insanity" at the top. Yikes.) So, 2007-2008
_________________________

I'm sorry that I've let myself stray so far
The trail that was left for me
Just looked so empty
And I must admit it's nice to accuse
Someone else for all that's gone wrong

But now I'm taking all the blame
Yet I'm keeping all my sorrow
I still don't understand where you were
At the beginning of it all
Of my life, of my death
Of my loss of hope and
The start of devastation
I know it's my fault now
But where exactly were you?

I prayed to you every waking minute
I memorized your word like there was no tomorrow
I gave up my heart and soul
My very being, just to get salvation
And it hurts to know you were only
Watching from the sidelines

But I'm taking all the blame
And keeping all my sorrow
I will never understand where you were
At the beginning of it all
Of my life, of my death
Of my loss of hope and
The start of devastation
I know it's my fault now
But where exactly were you?

These thoughts won't leave me alone
They're all I have
Just a shredded piece of memory
I've lost my will to live
How can you have let this happen?

But I'm taking all the blame
And keeping all my sorrow
I will never understand where you were
At the beginning of it all
Of my life, of my death
Of my loss of hope and
The start of devastation
I know it's all my fault
But where were you?
So, I found a bunch of old stuff at my dad's. Most of it isn't dated, but I'll do my best at estimating based on subject matter/handwriting/etc. But there were things in this folder that date back to 2005 and things that were from 2010. Little bit of a range, but long story short is that this was all from a very long time ago, so don't judge me too harshly.

There's also a few unfinished ones. And there's one that I can't find the first half of what I'm assuming is a song. Likely going to include those anyway just because I can.

Anyway, here's Wonderwall.